Ok, now I can say it out loud: my thirties were characterized by
Pursuing my career as an architect
Contemplating the decision to have a baby
My thirties have been a sort of “experimental time”, in which I tried to fit in societal rules, I suffered to fit in, I almost burned out to fit in…to then come to the conclusion that I didn’t HAVE TO fit in at all!
And so, it was only in my forties, that I underwent a profound metamorphosis, evolving from a clumsy hairy caterpillar to a butterfly.
Before we delve deeper, here's the biggest lesson I learned: embracing death and destruction is a prerequisite to welcoming a new self and a new life.
Opening up to self-reinvention in your forties is akin to riding a rollercoaster blindfolded: exhilarating yet slightly terrifying!
This critical juncture isn't merely an invitation to a midlife crisis; it's where aspirations for personal growth take center stage, leading one down a path paved with transformative experiences.
MY LIFE UNTIL MY 40S: LACK OF DIRECTION, ILLNESS, CHRONIC STRESS
My life until my forties was a whirlwind of challenges: lack of direction, illness, and chronic stress. Imagine a dense fog enveloping everything, obscuring clarity and direction.
In my thirties, I navigated through multiple job changes and found myself entangled in a relationship with a narcissist: an overwhelming combination.
It felt like crashing the Christmas party: burdensome, inescapable, and unwelcome. I felt adrift, like a ship lost at sea, navigating through a tempest of stress and health issues. My body's distress signals grew louder, and my health deteriorated rapidly.
By the end of my thirties, I began to awaken, realizing I had been living someone else's dream.
It was like reaching the end of a rainbow only to find a pot of existential crisis. However, as I blew out the candles on my 40th birthday, a spark ignited in my mind, catalyzing a profound overhaul.
I began to rise from the ashes like a phoenix.
They say, "Life begins at 40!" Well, I embraced the challenge, determined to script my own adventure from that moment onward.
So, here's exactly what I did, broken down into 10 steps.
Take a leap – at your own risk – and brace yourself for the twists and turns along the way!
1. I TOUCHED MY LOWEST POINT
I found myself at the rock bottom of my being, my energy, my life, sinking into depths akin to turbulent waters.
It was a dreary and dismal experience, to say the least! But it was precisely at my lowest ebb that I found the determination to push through, a testament to the human spirit's resilience and a dash of sheer stubbornness.
Now I’d say: dear old me, do not fear the depths, for within them lies the spark of redemption and the promise of brighter days ahead!
So, yes, step one: embrace rock bottom and bounce back with a wink and a jest!
2. I UNCOVERED MY SHADOWS AND FEARS THROUGH YOGA, MEDITATION, PAST LIFE REGRESSION
My journey of self-reinvention commenced with a deep dive into the depths of my own psyche, navigating the choppy seas of 'Who on earth am I?'.
It all began when I woke up one day in my mid-thirties, haunted by the tormenting thought of my unaware, unhealthy, and purposeless life.
Yoga transformed from mere pretzel impersonations to a key unlocking the secret handshake between my grey matter and glutes.
Each bend and twist became a dialogue with sinews and synapses, cracking open my emotional armor. Meditation provided a space to listen to the parts of myself I had long shut down and ignored.
Past life regression peeled back layers of an onion ad infinitum, bringing tears, not just because onions sting the eyes! Under the scrutiny of Sherlock Holmes' magnifying glass, all the sources of my chronic stress were illuminated, their tendrils stretching beyond today’s hullabaloos right back into ancestral dramas, stripping ghoulies from their once-menacing stance.
3. I ALCHEMIZED MY EMOTIONS, TRANSFORMING DISRUPTIVE PATTERNS INTO UNSHAKEABLE STRENGTH
Instead of avoiding my feelings, I chose to confront them head-on.
Transforming my emotional baggage wasn't as simple as waving a magic wand; it required down-to-earth metamorphosis and hard work.
I identified and tackled habits hindering me, turning them into valuable lessons. Each emotion became a thread in the intricate tapestry of my growth.
Anger evolved from a destructive force to a helpful signal, indicating boundaries crossed.
Jealousy ceased eroding my confidence and became a guide to my true desires.
And so forth… As these patterns shifted and evolved, so did my life.
Building resilience wasn't about becoming rigid; it was about cultivating inner strength capable of adapting gracefully to change. Piece by piece, I assembled this newfound resilience with each transformed emotion.
4. I STARTED MAKING VISION BOARDS AND TAKING INSPIRED ACTIONS
You know what they say: a picture's worth a thousand words, right?
So there I was, finally planning and crafting MY life story, and no one else’s.
My board became a tapestry woven from threads of hope; with each step in this quixotic journey (my living room rug bears witness!), my vision board served as both compass and trophy shelf, reminding me of my purpose, and in the darkest moment, of what I had already accomplished.
Having the images on hand of past, present, and future made the most impossible dreams more realistic, and tangible.
5. I TRICKED MY EGO BY LINKING "STAYING THE SAME" TO "PAIN"
Needless to say, my Ego didn’t like the whole process.
“He” loved his comfort zone so badly.
So I began outsmarting my ego by associating "staying the same" with "PAIN."
Have you ever seen a huge dog scared by a tiny cat, just because he knows that the cat is gonna hurt him with the claws?
Right: imagine that your Ego is the dog and staying the same is represented by the cat!
I began being frightened by the prospect of remaining stagnant.
And just like that, I charged toward the horizon of possibilities, leaving behind the notion of clinging to fears.
My mind transformed into a playful game, where holding onto anxieties simply didn't fit my narrative anymore!
6. I EMBODIED THE GODDESS VERSION OF ME
Embodying the goddess version of myself was a profound journey into the depths of feminine energy.
It was a transformational process, akin to awakening dormant aspects of my soul.
Although it sometimes felt like I was traversing unfamiliar terrain, each step carried me closer to a profound understanding of my inner essence. It was an exploration of the soul, an invitation to dance with the sacred rhythms of the universe.
It was a journey of self-discovery, a sacred pilgrimage into the heart of feminine wisdom and grace.
It healed my mother's wound, my masculine-feminine energy imbalance, it healed my whole universe.
7. I WORKED ON MY MINDSET AND CREATED NEW HABITS
While perhaps unconventional for someone entering their forties, I felt compelled to explore the multifaceted aspects of my being.
Within each of us lies a blend of strength and grace, waiting to be acknowledged and celebrated!
By integrating mindset work, repetition, and practice, I tricked my brain into embracing new habits. The brain doesn't always distinguish between what's real and what we're still cultivating!
Through consistent practice, I rewired neural pathways, fostering growth and transformation, trying new things, meeting new kinds of people, and experiencing new, completely fresh realities.
8. I GOT THE COURAGE TO BE THE NEW VERSION OF MYSELF
Summoning the courage to BE the new version of myself was like stepping onto the stage of my own life's theatre, with the spotlight glaring brighter than the Crown Jewels!
Holding myself accountable to this newfound persona wasn't just about me and my mirror, it was a full-blown performance for all to see! It has been like strutting about like a peacock in a room full of pigeons, fully aware that not everyone's gonna tip their hat to the new act.
It takes guts, it does!
'Cause let's face it, not everyone's gonna be lining up to applaud the changes, especially when you're not ticking the boxes society expects: no kids, not married, no property, full-time traveling.
But there I stood, chin up and shoulders squared, ready to take on the critics and the naysayers alike.
Because at the end of the day, the only review that truly matters is the one I give myself.
9. I BEGAN SEEING MISTAKES AS GROWTH AND EVOLUTION
As a self-proclaimed perfectionist, I've always relied on strategy as my trusted ally.
If you've ever stumbled along life's path, you understand the importance of having a plan in place.
I meticulously charted my course, ensuring that each step aligned perfectly with the grand design of my existence.
Rather than taking giant leaps, I opted for careful, tactical increments. I came to realize that true growth and evolution lie beyond the confines of checkboxes and rigid plans.
Mistakes ceased to be mere blunders; they transformed into valuable seasoning in the recipe of my journey. Instead of cringing at these missteps, I embraced them as unexpected pitstops along the road of personal growth.
Each mistake became an invitation, an opportunity not only to sharpen my mind but also to strengthen my resilience. With a newfound perspective, I embraced laughter as my weapon against mishaps, approaching each challenge with a sense of humor and flexibility.
I rolled up my sleeves and welcomed the constant evolution of my plans, recognizing that a successful reinvention in my forties involves more than just strategic moves: it requires a willingness to improvise and embrace the unexpected twists and turns of life's journey.
10. I ABANDONED MYSELF TO MY BIG RESET AND REBIRTH
There comes a moment when the trappings of your old life, be it the black business clothes, familiar places, or even the company of certain individuals, become unbearable.
It's a profound juncture, one where solitude often becomes a cherished companion. Finally, after peeling layer upon layer and delving deep into the essence of my being, I reached a pivotal moment.
It was time to bid farewell to my old self and step into a life beyond my very personal big reset.
Do you feel ready to take the plunge into your forties and reinvent yourself?
It's a wild ride, full of thrills and spills. Facing midlife's twists and turns takes courage; revamping your life isn't a walk in the park. But let me tell you, the sense of accomplishment on the other side of personal growth is beyond words.
Making changes to how we live requires determination, but trust me, it's worth it. This time, it's not about following society's norms but about sculpting a life that reflects YOUR deepest dreams.
Don't let doubts hold you back. Schedule a free strategy session with me, and together we'll tailor a plan that's perfect for you.
Let's make it happen!
Seize this opportunity: future-you will thank you.
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